Do you ever find yourself driving in the mountains, and see a serene rafts, tubes, canoes and kayaks with people happily riding, and think "I should do that someday, it sure looks calm, beautiful and most of all FUN!"
Well, since I am working to get out of my comfort zone, "out of the box"; 'bucket list' whatever you wanna call it; when some friends at work were planning a trip tubing down the Provo River; I jumped at the chance!
So I made my plans, and then when the day came- I picked up a co-worker (Annie) and we ventured off to 'Happy Valley' for our noon trip down the river!
We start at Vivian Park, since we had such a large group it was only $10 a head instead of the usual $15 for a tube. Of course each one of us had to sign a waiver stating that we would not hold High Country Expeditions responsible for any sort of bodily injury or death that may be incurred by the experience....foreshadowing of the impending doom!
We were all excited as we boarded the old yellow school busses to travel farther up the canyon to the drop off point. The guide, all the way asking us to look out the window to see specific landmarks that we would need to either steer clear of or around. There is an old trestle bridge that they ask us to "pull over and lug the tube on a trail over the bridge to re-embark on the other side, as it is not a travel under- safely bridge with sharp rebar and railing from trestles all in the way threatening to damage the tube (one was fairly visible-at least the remains of which were still attached-shredded stuck on the afore mentioned rebar fluttering in the water current).
Not letting my old fear deter me, I got out of the bus with my friends, all full of energy...proud of the special water shoes that Andy had given to me, thinking that I was more than prepared with the rented life jacket, water bottle in pocket of said life jacket, dollar store sunglasses, sunscreen applied, and happy face. (Even had my friend take a pic of me before the trip...but alas my cell phone must've erased it.) They threw the tubes at us out of the back of a big white truck- Annie and I picked inflated ones that looked newer than the rest, and headed down to the "dock"; a lovely muddy slide to the river.
Annie and I were river 'virgins' so our saying was from the movie Backdraft; "you go, I go!"....I was first off of our group, and swiftly flew down the rushing river water...it was a beautiful day, and I yelled "YAHOO!" in victory of my courage...little did I know what lie shortly ahead of me. I looked back in an attempt to assist Annie as she was drifting towards the brush on the edge of the river...she seemed to be doing okay, but she is probably 100 lbs. (if that) soaking wet; and shorter than I; so having difficulty using her arms and feet to 'steer" the unmanageable circles we sat on covered with a canvas under and on the sides with handles.
Next thing you know, she had tipped and fell into the icy rushing water losing hold of her tube that came flowing down the river towards me. Taking our promise seriously, I got off of my tube and tried to stand in the calm LOOKING water (that had a current flowing at about a zillion miles a second) managing to hold onto my tube; (now upside down and pulling furiously at me---threatening to toss me over into the frigid three feet of rushing water) - grabbing her upside down tube and managing to flip it back over for her- as she was rescued by another group of tubing buddies...compares of the river, to get down to where I was now struggling, against the current and the bushes, to right MY tube. I thought I would let it drag me to the middle where it was deeper to get back on....wow, worked somehow, and I was again floating down the river, about a fourth of the way down...when again I capsized! This time, not such mental clarity was present, I had inhaled quite a bit of cold river water into my nose and mouth and I was disoriented...again dragging my shins along the sharp bottom rocks of the river, only then noticing that my lovely "water shoes" were in shreds and impeding my progress. Now aware that I am basically barefoot and being dragged down the river by an upside down tube -I almost resign myself to traveling the rest of the way down in that position - and probably being ripped to shreds under the bridge...PANIC MODE set in!
Just then a tall dark stranger (handsome man; probably from Ecuador or South America); in a grey raft with a motley crew consisting a kind compassionate mother, 40-50 yrs old with red cropped hair, two sons, in their 20's...at the helm, 80 (if not a day) yr old grandpa, grumpy salt and pepper bearded dad 50's and daughter; came up and asked me if I needed help? Hells Bells...YES I needed help; screw the pride, I wanted to LIVE! I have no upped body strength...something I have been lacking most of my life, and even though I have lost15 lbs., I am still quite the BBW to drag into a raft, especially soaking wet and desperately holding onto the tube handle "just in case". Da'vid and the dad helped pull me in- I grabbed one of the paddles, at that time I choked out that my shoes were off or destroyed...Da'vid looked and said "obliterated"...and somehow I climbed up into the raft...panting, and thankful that God had sent these angels to help me.
I was still holding the handle of the tube, so they asked if I wanted to stay with them, or try for the tube again, since I looked at my scraps for shoes, I accepted their offer wholeheartedly, and gladly turned over my tube to one of their family members. The mom explained that they were having a big family get together, and that Da'vid was a son in law; wife on another mode of transport down the "hell river", and that they were celebrating an impending wedding (two weeks). (I was officially a 'Wedding Crasher'- of sorts)
They told me their names, but in my state of recovery, I now cannot recall any of the names- except Da'vid...the night in shining armor! He was the only one to notice that my thumb nail had broken down into my thumb and was bleeding and that I had a few bumps with gashes that were oozing blood...I assured him that the cuts were tolerable to assuage his concern.
Da'vid was OBVIOUSLY not dad-in-law's favorite man....criticizing his rowing, snapping at him when he paused to wave at the people riding the Heber Creeper that choo choo'ed by on the track above the river. Then shortly thereafter losing hold of the paddle, and - I am sure-fearing the bite of father in-law's impending criticism, dived off the raft into the 3 feet of rushing water to retrieve the lost paddle, only to fall victim to the current....and our raft, unable to stop and wait or ground itself while he was swimming, was in turn rescued by two canoe dudes, and the "lost" paddle was retrieve and returned to us by an able bodies tubist.
I then started paddling, I didn't mind, and found that I knew how to steer THAT much better than my talent for NOT steering the tube.
After a cold, miserable looking Da'vid caught up to us sitting in the middle of the canoe, the mom suggested that he may want to try doing that with the two canoe "relatives" that had saved him. I could see in his eyes that he would love to do ANYTHING more than be in any close vicinity to the father in law...so he stayed on the canoe.
We came up on the bridge, swiftly steering the raft over to the poor excuse of a "dock"...again slick muddy dirt, at a severe angle to the river, that after chucking (with much chagrin) the now shredded shoes into the river (now I wish I had saved them for a souvenir); I was barefoot with tender feet....I managed to tip toe around big gravel stones and thanked the Lord for weeds that are not all "stickery" - and as the last one in...Managed to slip and get the bum of my jean shorts all muddy (shorts that I bought @ the consignment store the week before for $1!)...so sat on dirt the whole rest of the way. Hitchhiking for the first time in my life - on a river nonetheless!
We swiftly made it down to dock; HOME....now I just had to find my friends....they would have surely made it back before ME! I scanned the crowd of people; only to see no familiar ones. Then I was acutely aware that my feet HURT, and all around there was gravel...not small stuff, but big sharp rocky gravel! I hip hopped my way to give back my life jacket---that had surely saved me...and made it to the trailer disguised as an office for the booming business of river "adventures". I asked if anyone was looking for a person lost in their party; then with a "You'll have to ask a guide" ...I hobbled down the wooden steps to more gravel...seemed like acres!
At this point I need to interject that Annie and I had parked my car over the other side of the train tracks and river at Vivian Park; but had left our bags of "stuff" in my other friends vehicle parked down by the trailer. With that said, I had no shoes or dry clothes to change into...or car keys, or driver's license...or CELL PHONE! Okay, just something to ponder...how many telephone numbers do you know...I mean, really remember....by heart, to call if you are without your all important CELL PHONE?!?!?!?
Also, I plan on going through all of my "extra" unused shoes and sending them to Africa or donating them to a local charity; as I have been PAINFULLY reminded that shoes are VERY ESSENTIAL to your well being!
Okay, back to the 3 hour saga....wasn't there a television show about a 3 hour tour!?!?!? Ahhhhh no Gilligan's Island....nobody but, me, myself, and I ...and a bunch strangers. Tom Hanks in that movie 'Cast Away' but I had no "Wilson" just an empty water bottle, a tiny tube of sunscreen....along with my swimming suit and some dirt encrusted jean shorts. I decided that I would go over to the park...there was grass and people there, plus my beater of a car was parked there...for SURE my friends would find me!
Ummmm, not so much....I bummed water and lemonade off of families that were having picnics, asked one family if anyone had a cell phone that had service up the canyon. Found one kind young man that had a Blackberry that he offered up for use. After some coaching from him and some deep prodding of my brain, I remembered a few phone numbers. My sister Julie, of course, and my friend Lisa. After realizing that they were probably NOT answering because of an unknown number listed on the caller id (damn technology!); the Samaritan asked if my contacts texted...WHAT A CONCEPT.....I take back what I said about technology! I figured that sis would probably NOT get one, as she has a practice of "not being a slave to her phone" - but, I did text my sweet friend Lisa...and she texted me back...then called. By then, I had moved away from the picnic pavilion at the park, and the kind sir walked over to find me. I spoke with Lisa, and she had Valene's cell number (the designated tubing party leader)...who I then left a message on her number, thinking that she would have it on her person? Obviously not, I had managed to call and catch Julie at home - and she was "to the rescue"...as per usual....packing my dog, and shoes. Meanwhile, across the river...unbeknownst to me, there was a search party in progress. My friends had finally arrived at the destination, and apparently I had beaten them? Who wouldda guessed it? I thought...incorrectly, that they would come to the park since my car was there...their thought was that they had all of my stuff in a bag along with my car keys; so WHY WOULD I GO TO MY CAR?
When Julie showed up...bearing flip flops purchased on the way from SLC to Provo canyon at Family Dollar, as she had stopped at because in her haste to leave, she forgot shoes.(Why oh WHY did I not ask one of the kind picnickers to just drive me back over to the High Country dock, instead of calling my sister is a mystery to me....maybe I swallowed too much water...or maybe a small fish...and the trauma was addling my brain, I dunno...)
Julie drove me back over the rough rocks- back to the "docking area" where, low and behold, there was a very concerned Valene, her brother, and Annie...standing with some tour guides ALMOST gonna call the search and rescue team, as the guides had traveled up and down the stretch of river looking for little ol me....also, they had driven up and down the road looking for me, as maybe I had floated down the river to the other tubing place. Never ONCE did they think to drive the - maybe 300 feet over to the grassy park to see a barefoot...pink and orange print swimming suit with dirty shorts Susie...waving an empty water bottle!
Oh well....so my life is akin to an Erma Bombeck story...never a dull moment! What an adventure! All in all, it had a happy ending, other than the parts where I almost DIED!
As Annie and I laughed and giggled on the way home, it was nice to hear her experience was very close too mine, scratches and bumps on her shins, and bruises yet to make themselves known.
In the end, I WAS HAPPY to do what I did....I stepped outta the box....into ---well, CHINA....but, at least I made it out alive...with a tall tale to tell! Makes me appreciate all that I have!
